Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's (NaBloPoMo #14)

(So, I managed to actually miss a day of posting, but I'm going to honor the number of posts for this month... I'll see if I have the energy to double-post later tonight!)

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and it was the first for me and S. And it was memorable. But not because of some romantic affair. Nope. Because there were just things that were on my mind, bothering me, and I ended up snapping at him. I felt so terrible afterwards. I started to cry. I was thinking, gee, I wonder what we look like sitting here on Valentine's Day and the guy looks upset and the girl is sniffling...

I knew we were okay when he finally smiled at me before we left the restaurant....  Those are the moments when I feel most loved. Despite my sometimes emotional baggage that'll just creep in.... he can still forgive even if I've hurt him. He tells me that I may not say a whole lot when I'm upset, but that a perfectly aimed comment will just hit bullseye...

I told him that when I'm hurt, I explode. And when he gets hurt, he retreats, closes up like one of those flowers. I told him I didn't know what to say even after I said sorry and he said he forgave me... that's when he smiled wryly and said, yeah, explode like a hot air expanding too fast.

I'm not proud of myself in those moments. But I'm lucky to have someone who does accept me, warts and all...

After dinner, we went home to my mom's to see my nephews whose folks are out of town for work. The two boys were in their PJs and were watching TV when we dropped off our small Valentine's goodie bag. It was nice visiting with them. I found out one of them has an "older girlfriend" and the other doesn't have a girlfriend "because his butt smells like poo." Yeah, don't ask. I enjoyed talking story with them, though.

Then it was off to dance practice in Whittier and I was quite beat. I nearly fell asleep on the way there and back. All the while, I just wanted to come home and cuddle especially because of the earlier episode. I got home about midnight, completely beat and I barely remember changing before crawling into bed. It was not a typical Valentine's Day, but definitely a memorable one.

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