Thursday, February 3, 2011

Annoying people (NaBloPoMo #3)

Think about someone who annoys you. Write a list of everything you don't like about them, and then write a list of all the things that you're grateful that they've shown you about yourself.
This one is kind of funny. If you know me well, there are very few people that annoy me. Mostly, I think I have enough patience and empathy to deal with most people. Yet there are definitely those that really Get. My. Goat.

And just as the writing prompt suggests - list things that they've shown you... well, that is the rub, yes? What I think is most telling if a person will be honest enough to examine themselves is just that. Whatever it is that annoys us of another is usually something within us that needs much resolving.

Of course if you are the kind of person that is constantly annoyed with other people? Either you're perfect, or have a lot of self-development to do, methinks.

There are some people that I have to "work" with that truly annoy me. If I could relegate the context of how I relate to these people, like just socially for example, I think we could get along fine. However, work? That means I gotta rely on you, and you've got to see me as a team member and we gots to communicate and understand what outcome each of us envisions.

What don't I like about these people in particular?
  1. Only aware of their own agenda
  2. Won't really listen to feedback and input to larger cause/mission/picture
  3. Doesn't know how to be a team player
  4. Manipulates people/decisions behind the scene
  5. Doesn't know what they don't know - Ugh!
  6. Think they know everything
  7. Because they are motivated to help, they assume any action they take is acceptable and benign
  8. Can't read the social environment or temperature
  9. Says things to look good
  10. Thinks they're being helpful, but actually creating more chaos
  11. They are not detail-oriented
  12. They create more work for me
Things that I'm grateful that they've shown me about myself (grrrrr):
  1. They've shown me that I need to have more compassion and ponder what motivates other people. In that, I can find patience. (I have to find it multiple times in some cases...)
  2. They've shown me that although not in title or position, I do have the power to influence
  3. They've shown me that I will strive to be fair, even if it means I will not get what I want
  4. They've shown me that I must work to climb out of the occasional self-pity and need to step up, though I don't want to take responsibility in areas that I know I'm best served to speak up
  5. They've shown me that I can gauge the temperature of a group and move accordingly
  6. They've shown me that despite my growing confidence in my intuition, I still "overreact" -
  7. Therefore, they've shown me that I need to take a breath before speaking...
  8. They've shown me that I have aspirations and ambition, too, in areas that I didn't know I did
  9. They've shown me that I am a novice when it comes to understanding what things I cannot control and simply need to "LET GO"
  10. They've shown me that "letting go" does not mean not caring, it's understanding what things are worth fighting for
  11. They've shown me that it's not the end of the world when things aren't 100% optimal or what I would've wanted because I "let go...
The thing that sticks out most is that I'd say that I've learned that success is defined in many ways. Success has different looks. I try hard to be in control of things - possibly because I am capable of doing so... but the reality is that one cannot really control things... but these people that annoy me and I must "work" with them in some capacity--well, they really show me that I'm really not in control and I don't like that.

And the truth is, there will inevitably be moments when these "annoying" people actually are my strongest allies. This is very ANNOYING in itself. It means, I really need to get over myself.


I wonder how I annoy people.... (Feedback welcome!)

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