Last night during yoga, I started to cry. In reclining pigeon against the wall, resting a bit, I started to think about Okinawa, about the real possibility of going in June and thinking of the people that I long to see and started to think about cousin, Mayumi, who passed away over a year ago. I saw myself giving incense at aunty's house and I just started to tear. With my eyes closed and covered with my favorite lavender eye pillow, I just started to cry.
I then savored in the feeling of, well, FEELING. A tangible discernible emotion. Clear and strong. I was struck with the thought that these days, I don't feel.
Most likely because I am infused with more negativity, even that I keep at bay because I couldn't stand to be consumed... but it felt right to feel, though it was sadness last night.
I am bottled up, stopped up, faded colors of feeling. This must change.
Happy New Year 2018
5 months ago