Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Eve of 39

On the eve of my 39th birthday, and feeling ambivalent. Growing older does not worry me... well, wait. what does "growing older" mean anyway?

Accumulating the years is not as distressing as accumulating the years and seeing each one pass as one that was not lived to its potential. Ah yes, that is what gets my goat.

I remember my roomie in college that cried when she turned 21 because she didn't want to get older. I wonder about that. Was it mortality that she worried about? Or independence and adulthood that she wasn't ready for? Most people at that age are so excited, they can hardly contain themselves.

39 years and my life isn't what it should be. Do I know what I want, though?

The rub, the rub...

4 comments:

  1. wow I thought you were way older then me. I be turning 38 on Feb. 8th. I didnt know we are around the same age. Happy Birthday!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jeff! You found me (again!) Thank you for the birthday wishes! The other blog service was hacked and so I lost everything and wasn't sure about blogging again, but alas... I think I need it. Thanks for stopping by. And yah, I think I get that (being older!) a lot. Must be my bossy, ne-chan schtick! =)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, had no idea you had a blog going on... and your writing is so powerful and moving. Keep it going Yuko-san! I'll be your biggest fan :) And of course it's not too late, it's never too late! Just keep following what you think it's right, one day at a time. Ganbatte~~!!! Wish we could see each other more often, hate being far away from my Okinawan friends :(
    Yuri

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yuri - Arigato ne~ I really appreciate your words of support! And it was so great to see you!

    ReplyDelete