On the eve of my 39th birthday, and feeling ambivalent. Growing older does not worry me... well, wait. what does "growing older" mean anyway?
Accumulating the years is not as distressing as accumulating the years and seeing each one pass as one that was not lived to its potential. Ah yes, that is what gets my goat.
I remember my roomie in college that cried when she turned 21 because she didn't want to get older. I wonder about that. Was it mortality that she worried about? Or independence and adulthood that she wasn't ready for? Most people at that age are so excited, they can hardly contain themselves.
39 years and my life isn't what it should be. Do I know what I want, though?
The rub, the rub...
Happy New Year 2018
5 months ago